Today wasn't a great day. It's been just over a year since my mom was diagnosed with ALS (March 27th) and just over 2 months since she passed. My grandmother is in hospice care with a limited time left with which to draw breath. I didn't plan for or prepare a healthy dinner. I didn't tackle the mountain of laundry that needs attention. I was in a desperate place today. A place I've become very familiar with. Today wasn't a great day.
Today was a great day. I volunteered my time to help save someone else time. I went for a walk in the beautiful spring air. I enjoyed a refreshing shower. I took my girls to the park and my husband joined us for some family time. I spoke with my dad and we were able to encourage one another and speak life to the grieving places in our hearts. Today, God met me in my desperate places. Today was a great day.
Today is a day the Lord has made. He is there in both the good and the bad. I recently shared with someone that being in a desperate place doesn't have to be a bad thing. That desperation can force me to recognize that I am not in control. If I'm not in control, I'd better learn to be O.K. with that. And so I learn to be O.K. O.K. with the hot dogs and goldfish I served for dinner. O.K. with the tears I've shed. O.K. with the waves of emotion that surge at unexpected moments. I learn to be O.K. with desperation because there is not a day that goes by when the reality of what I need is not met by a God who understands me and loves me. God sees, He knows and He meets. He meets my needs and draws me close. And that provides hope in my desperate places. The meeting with God in that place.
"The Angel of the Lord found her (Hagar) by a spring of water in the wilderness, the spring on the way to Shur. ... So she named the Lord who spoke to her: The God Who Sees, for she said, "Have I really seen here the One Who Sees Me?" (Gen. 16:7,13 HCSB, emphasis mine)
Pictures from last Easter, definitely a joy to remember.
