March Slump (what we've been up to)

I started off strong with regular posts in January and February then March hit.  Can you say slump?  Oh how I long for the sun, warmth and green of Spring.  Here's hoping it really is just around the corner.

Regardless of the regularity of my posting, life has continued around here.  Never a dull moment and lots of connection going on.

Our newest obsession: Board Games.  We were gifted with some unexpected funds so we went all out and bought two incredibly fun games to play as a family.  Justin and I both love playing them together and Lydia can't get enough.

Ticket to Ride (my favorite!)

Three Players makes it interesting.

Ticket to Ride - Africa Expansion. In our house this includes praying for the cities we are traveling between

Carcassonne

If you like board games I would definitely recommend checking these out. I had a blog planned about how we surprised the girls with a scavenger hunt to find these games, but this will have to do.

Random March pictures:

Forts and book.  Lots and lots of books!

Cushion mazes

Veterinary Clinic with Dr. Emma

Easter Pictures:

We had an "unplugged" week leading up to Easter so I made these pillow case covers so they would have a soft cushion to carry around wherever they wanted.

All different symbols of the Easter story

Resurrection Cake

Easter Egg Hunt with Mana

The Cousins annual Easter Egg Hunt Picture

Teaching Hoppy and Mana Ticket to Ride

Hoppy and his two girls

Mana and the girls looking at Resurrection Eggs

Mom, me, Lydia and Emma after church

Thanks for reading and catching up with whats going on in our litter corner of the world.  Blessings!

Prayer for today

I have been reading through the book Praying Circles Around Your Children by Mark Batterson.  I am joining Kathleen of Positive Adoption in an online book club as we read our way through the book.  I am enjoying the slow and purposeful approach to read just one chapter a week. It is a very short read and could be easily devoured in one sitting but the pause each week has given the messages and applications time to sink in.

As a peek into my prayer life here is my prayer for the girls today.

"Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I do not get involved with things too great or too difficult for me. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself like a little weaned child with its mother; I am like a little child.  Israel, put your hope in the Lord, both now and forever." Psalm 131

Father, may Lydia and Emma learn to calm and quiet themselves before You.  In a society that esteems busyness and productivity, I pray that they would stand counter cultural and learn to truly rest and trust in You.  You, Lord God, are true Hope.  In You alone, Lord God, can a person find rest.  I pray that as these precious girls learn to calm and quiet themselves before You, that You would nourish their souls.  That they would be fed and satisfied by You and You alone. Father, may they put their hope in You, both now and forever.  Amen.

I believe prayer is both a private discipline and a communal discipline.  Both the practice of private prayer and public prayer are invigorating to me.  There is great worth in the prayers I pray in silence to God alone as well as those that are shared.  I share this prayer as a means of encouragement and exhortation.  I believe the communal aspect of public prayer is a powerful thing and will never hesitate to share what and or how I am praying for my children.  Thanks for joining me in praying for my kids!

Here is another peek into how I have been praying for my girls.  I wrote descriptive words on pillow cases for each of them.  All the words on one side are words that are true of them today. Things I see in them, admire about them and want to encourage in them.  On the reverse side are the words I am praying for them as they grow.  Words that I would like to see them grow into and really own. 

My prayer list for Emma

That which is already evident in her.

My prayer list for Lydia

That which is already evident.

 As they lay their heads down at night, I want them to know that I pray for them. That I see them.  Even more so, I want them to learn to seek the One who knows them and created them for a purpose.  He knit them together in my womb and He has chosen them, set them apart and appointed them for His glory. (Jeremiah 1:5) 

Thanks for hearing (reading) my heart today! Blessings!

Connection: Chaos and Calm

Calm. Serene. Controlled. These types of environments appeal to me.

Of course, I am a loud, lively extrovert so...there's that.

Life contains moments of chaos and calm.  Learning to connect with my family no matter which of those is happening at the moment is essential.  I thrive on the one-on-one time I get to spend with my husband and kids. I thoroughly enjoy the structured time of school work and projects.  I love sitting and reading, coloring or conversing.  Adversely I enjoy leading  kids in exciting and energetic worship, visiting with my loud and crazy extended family (I say that in the most loving way!), I enjoy jumping, dancing and goofing around.  It is a combination of these that make me feel truly alive.

Our family switches regularly between the moments of chaos and calm. We strive to include enough quiet and rest into our lives so as not to burn out. A key concept we want our children to understand is that Sabbath rest, contemplation and getting alone with ourselves is an important part of living life to the full.  A schedule that is too full and a mind that does not know how to be quiet leaves less room to hear and perceive, to learn and to grow.  We also want to instill in our children the idea that God is writing a story in our lives and that story is a great adventure.  Risks along with failures are the good stuff of life, so enjoy them and participate fully in life.

Capturing the moments as they come, whether chaotic or calm, is essential to understanding how to connect. I am guilty of missing opportunities to connect because I refused to allow my life to calm down, to take a break or to restore the rest I so desperately needed.  I have also missed opportunities to connect because I have clung so tightly to the calm and control I believed necessary. As a parent who desires to stay connected I need to build both rest and recreation into my life.  I can't become so caught up in calm & control. Nor can I give into every activity and spontaneous idea that comes my way. 

The only solution to living in correct proportions is to yield.  To daily yield my desires, my activities, my schedule and my attitude to Christ.  I must submit to His will for me and allow Him to direct my paths.  I am diligently trying to teach my children the same lessons I am learning.

As far as connection, here are some random pictures of connection in both the calm and the chaos. I will let you decide whether they were moments of chaos or calm. Either way, for our family they spell connection.

Daddy is a huge giant caterpillar!

Yes, mommy's head is sticking out.

Crafts

A tank for Winter the dolphin

Summer library book rewards at Taco Bell

When it's too cold to play in the snow

Meltdown at Walmart

Cow appreciation day at Chic Fil A (with friends)

A spider web in the living room? Why not!

The girls version of "homeschool"

First taste or real all-natural Ginger ale

Lydia's favorite Christmas reading nook

More ginger ale

Aunt Mala

Emma in Aunt Mala's big boots

Still just ginger ale

Reading Magic Treehouse

Cousins!

Connection through Big Picture Living

What kind of story am I living? 

What dreams am I pursuing? 

In what ways am I living beyond myself?  

Those are questions that I wrestle through.  I wrestle through them because I believe they hold valuable insight into who I am and who I am becoming. I also wrestle through them because each and every day I have little eyes watching me.  Minds and hearts that are being shaped by the life I am living in front of them.  Dreams and pursuits are forming that will hopefully outlive my own. Living a life of legacy and connection is not optional. It's happening whether I am aware of it or not.  The only thing that remains is deciding what legacy, what story I am living.

I have a dream that some day I can go to Africa. - Lydia

Lydia brought home these words written on a cloud a couple weeks ago.  Having traveled to Africa 4 times myself, I couldn't help but smile at her desire to follow in her mama's footsteps. Pursing a far off, crazy, life changing dream.  I would like nothing better than to travel the world with her someday and be part of her adventures.  I want to encourage her and Emma to dream, to live beyond themselves and to make a difference. I believe and want to teach them that our lives are part of a bigger story.  I deeply desire that my girls begin to find the story God wants them to live. A story that is meant for them and them alone. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end." (HCSB) Eternity has been put into man's heart.  If I really take time to consider that eternity is written on my children's hearts, then I need to nurture that.  I need to make room for life beyond just the here and now.  I must consider the possibility that God has plans for them that I cannot imagine or conceive of. And maybe, just maybe, that would be true for my own life.

 Big picture living is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Exciting because God has a great story, a great adventure for our family to live. Of course I know that there are parts of that story that will scare the pants right off of me.  Being a control freak, learning to trust God as sovereign in reality rather than just thought, is terribly difficult and produces uncertainty.  However, if I really want my family to grasp how wide, how long, how high and how deep God's love for us is, we must not be afraid to live big.  Pursue big. Dream big.

Our family is certainly still a work in progress.  Like all families we struggle to live a life that is outside of our own selfish wants and desires.  We constantly need to refocus on our purpose to live to the glory of God and to love others.  Self-centered living feels far more natural than self-less pursuits.  That said, here are a few ways our family is seeking God in trying to live out a big picture life.

We mutually support each others dreams. For 2 weeks this summer, instead of being with my husband and kids, I was in Kenya. I had the opportunity to share Christ and encourage leaders.  And while it was not easy for us to be apart from one another, there is no doubt that God had His hand in orchestrating this time.

We are crazy in love with and involved in our church.  It is our desire that our family interacts with the people of this community and that together with our local church we would be able to change the spiritual landscape of Fairmont WV. 

We desire to put our feet and our hands into action. The girls and I help prepare and serve meals at our local Union Mission.  Seeing them learning to serve those less fortunate and do so with joy and enthusiasm is priceless. Developing a heart to serve and care for others is of great importance. 

We encourage and serve one another. The first lessons in service should always come from learning to sever those you live with each day.  Sure, we can go the extra mile and help someone in need, but can we do simple tasks for our family members without complaint or grumbling?  What about the the things we do that will never receive public praise? Yep, those things count to.  Learning to serve our very own family members is a huge part of a story well lived.


There are so many dreams I dream for my family.  I want us to remain close and to have firm foundations in the love of God.  I want us to live life to the fullest and live beyond ourselves. Connecting through a mutual understanding that, "It's not about me, and it's not about now." (Max Lucado)

What dreams do you have for your family? How can you pursue big picture living as a family?

We are THAT Family never ceases to inspire me to live beyond myself. Check out this post which show 100 ways for your family to make a difference.

And if you need some personal encouragement as to why you should pursue your own dreams, check out what Stacey has to say about it.

Blessings!

Snow Fun for the Housebound

My girls love playing in the snow. No matter how long they actually play in the snow or how deep it is, they love it.  On occasion though, I have been known to say "no" to playing in the snow.  When there is sickness or it's just that cold outside. Yes, I'm a meanie.  I have come up with a few good compromises.  Here are a few examples of what to do when going outside for snow fun just isn't gonna work.

Snow Art -

The Supplies - medicine droppers, food coloring diluted with water, tray of snow, water for rinsing droppers and lots of imagination!

Using only 3 primary colors makes mixing colors so much more fun.

Snow play -

Simply fill a large tub or bowl with snow and have fun. Simple yet satisfying for those who are housebound.

Hope this provides some inspiration.  Thanks for reading!

Language of Connectivity: Developing a Positive Word Culture

"Reckless words pierce like a sword but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18

If you want to know where I am most likely to blow it in my relationships with others, especially my family, it's with my words.  I certainly don't set out to be reckless with my words but it sure does happen.  As I continue to share what works for our family regarding staying connected I feel it important to share how my words and the words of everyone in our family factor into our ability to connect.

Words are incredibly powerful. The Bible is replete with warnings, commands and Godly principles surrounding our tongues. From our mouths come both blessings and curses (James 3:10). No one can tame the tongue (James 3:8). Death and life are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21). These verses along with many other are ones that I believe. I've studied and struggled with them but my conclusion is that my words have the ability to build up or tear down. Connection is about building up so if I am not aware of the impact my tongue has on my relationships then I am at risk for tearing down in one word what I have diligently been trying to build up.

For instance, say we are having a family night that starts out with dinner. (Make your own pizza night is always a good one!) We've made our pizza sat down to dinner then one of the girls spills their drink. And I lose it. I come down hard on her simply because of an accident. An accident I myself have done numerous times. The contradiction between the desire to connect and the atmosphere which is actually conducive to doing so are vast.  The gap between how I reacted and the desire of my heart were hindered by one thing: my mouth.  I know I am not alone in my struggle with words.  All of us have lost it at one time or another and it is bound to happen again at some point.  It is essential though, that we are aware that the way we communicate on a regular and recurring basis matters. If we want connected families we must work at having a language of connectivity. We must develop a positive word culture in our families.

Here are some practical tips on how to develop a more positive word culture in your family. 

1. Figure out your "go-to" catch phrase or attitude.  Most of us have one or two catch phrases or attitudes that we go to when we are at our fill. We've had enough, our nerves are shot and we are running on empty.  I've heard a number of people with that catch phrase, (speaking to child:) "You are driving me crazy!" or saying the similar "They are driving me crazy!" to a friend within ear shot of the children.  Take a minute to think about what this communicates to the child.  In this moment a child hears, "You are a problem. You are the problem. I don't want to be with you. I don't love you." That may seem like over kill but truly, that is what a kid can and does take away from reckless words like that.  

I have long been aware that I have lots of issues with words I have done my best to not have any catch phrase words. For the most part I don't speak those negative words. However, I employ the use of the all inclusive sigh. If I am not on top of it, this sigh communicates just as much as actually verbalizing the negative words. A sigh (eye roll, shoulder slump, etc) can communicate to a child that what you are doing now is more important than they are. That you don't enjoy them or that, once again, you don't love them.  Becoming aware of what attitudes and words you use on a recurring basis and the way it registers with your child is the first step to developing a positive word culture.

2. Stop short and turn away from using that catch phrase or attitude.  This is NOT an easy step. It requires diligence, practice, self-control and divine help. Also important to note, you WILL FAIL from time to time.  While Christ has given us the power to walk in victory, we don't always tap into that victory and we suffer defeat.  It is in the midst of defeat however that we can learn to trust and depend more fully on the Holy Spirit.  Seeing our own weaknesses and incapability is a powerful motivation to cling to the cross of Christ even more.  Preach the gospel to yourself daily and participate with the Holy Spirit to experience lasting change. I've had the opportunity to follow two separate friends as they journeyed to do just this as they fasted negative talk.  Their awareness of the trap and their diligence to change was certainly an eye-opening experience for them and for me. Both would testify to the difficulty in breaking the habit but would say that God came through for them in their weakness. (Thanks Lorrie and Kathleen for blogging and sharing your experience!) This is a journey I am on perpetually and believe it is changing the legacy of my family.

3. Replace the negative with the positive.  Becoming aware and understanding what our words do to those we love is a huge step. Learning to stop those words and behaviors is also a big deal. However if we stop there we are stopping short of actually changing the word culture of our family.  Taking away a negative behavior still leaves a gap. That gap must be refilled with a positive action.  Empty space is easily filled with other equally destructive habits so replace that bad with the good.  

Have you ever seen the "Eat This, Not That" recipe books? The idea is that if you make small conscious choices to replace certain foods with other foods you will be healthier.  I believe we could all learn to apply this to our communication and words.  

If you're tempted to yell....sing or whisper instead. (I know my kids think I am nuts when I start singing!)

If you want to tell your children they are driving you crazy....take a few minutes to regain control of yourself. After all, YOU are the adult. Own your feelings rather than blame your children.

If you are ready to give "the sigh"....replace it with immediate, decisive and pleasant action. Don't give enough of a pause, respond appropriately.

And for those instances when you blow it, make it right.  Humbly apologize. Own rather than excuse your hurtful words and do what you can to make amends.  All of our families would be better off with more "I'm sorry"s and fewer excuses.

Developing a positive word culture is an extremely important part of connectivity.  Work towards the goal of adopting more positive forms of communication and then pass that on to the rest of your family as well. And remember, we are in this thing together. I do not write from a place of perfection, just a place of process.  I am just sharing my process with you.  Blessings!